(Teasers ahead, if you haven't finished the series.)

1. Draco's first name is Latin for serpent or dragon. His last name is French for "Bad Faith."

2. Draco was born on June 5th, 1980. That makes him older than most TeamWorm members!

3. The son of Lucius and Narcissus Malfoy, Draco is, of course, a pure-blooded wizard.

4. Draco's son is named Scorpius.

5. The Malfoys live in Wiltshire, England.

6. Draco has grey eyes.

7. Draco, like all Malfoys, has hair so blonde that it is practically white.

8. Also like all Malfoys, Draco has a long and pointed face.

9. Like his family, Draco is a known Death Eater. There is some controversy regarding how long he has been so.

10. From 1992 to 1995, Draco was the seeker for the Slytherin House Quidditch team.

11. Draco's original wand was a Hawthorn and unicorn hair, 10 inches long.

12. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter first met in Madam Malkin's robe shop on Diagon Alley.

13. Draco's best friends are Crabbe and Goyle, two large boys who are as much his protectors as his companions.

14. Draco is known to commonly fake or exaggerate injuries to manipulate a situation to his likeing.

15. While Draco is generally seen as a malevolent, if not downright agitating character, he is a very good student who does well in his courses.

16. Draco's father was sent to prison in for trying to steal a prophesy.

17. Draco was the original wizard whom Voldemort desired to kill Albus Dumbledore, NOT Sevarus Snape.

18. Draco is married to Astoria Greengrass. (Isn't it fortunate how Hogwarts children all seem to find their perfect love to be an elementary school companion?)

19. Tom Felton plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter film series.

20. The Malfoy family is extremely wealthy.

21. Draco, like all Malfoys, was sorted into Slytherin house.

22. Pansy Parkinson was Draco's date to the Yule Ball.

23. Bellatrix Lestrange is Draco's aunt.

24. While Draco's immediate family is entirely composed of Death Eaters, his cousins include some notorious good witches and wizards, including Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black, and Molly Weasley.

25. Draco owns and eagle owl.

I am assuming that since I am a real person, I must be at least as interesting as a Harry Potter character, and therefore will fill you in on useless knowledge about myself.

1. Draco's first name is Latin for serpent or dragon. His last name is French for "Bad Faith." - my first name is english for "Toilet" and my last name means "a short period of time" in german, or a button snap (like on clothes) in Danish.

2. Draco was born on June 5th, 1980. That makes him older than most TeamWorm members! - He is not older than me (1979 baby!)

3. The son of Lucius and Narcissus Malfoy, Draco is, of course, a pure-blooded wizard. - The son of Eric and Dorothy, John is pure blooded redneck

4. Draco's son is named Scorpius. - John's son's name is Adam

5. The Malfoys live in Wiltshire, England. - The Knapps live in Layton Utah

6. Draco has grey eyes. - John has brown eyes

7. Draco, like all Malfoys, has hair so blonde that it is practically white. - John's hair, like all brunettes, has hair so brown that it looks brown

8. Also like all Malfoys, Draco has a long and pointed face. - Like all awesome people, John has a face

9. Like his family, Draco is a known Death Eater. There is some controversy regarding how long he has been so. - Like his uncle, John is a competitive eater.

10. From 1992 to 1995, Draco was the seeker for the Slytherin House Quidditch team. - From 1993-1996 John was on the wrestling team.

11. Draco's original wand was a Hawthorn and unicorn hair, 10 inches long. - John will refrain from describing his 10 inch wand in public.

12. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter first met in Madam Malkin's robe shop on Diagon Alley. - John first met Harry Smith on the playground in 3rd grade. He had a transformer toy.

13. Draco's best friends are Crabbe and Goyle, two large boys who are as much his protectors as his companions. - John's best friends are Adam and Danno, who are as much his bad influences as his companions.

14. Draco is known to commonly fake or exaggerate injuries to manipulate a situation to his likeing. - John is known to commonly fake interest to manipulate a conversation to his likeing.

15. While Draco is generally seen as a malevolent, if not downright agitating character, he is a very good student who does well in his courses. - While John is generally seen as an unmotivated, if not downright lazy student, he is a very good character who does well in his impressions.

16. Draco's father was sent to prison in for trying to steal a prophesy. - John's father was sent to Kazakhstan for trying to make money.

17. Draco was the original wizard whom Voldemort desired to kill Albus Dumbledore, NOT Sevarus Snape. - John was the original engineer whom Adam desired to fix teggie, NOT Danno

18. Draco is married to Astoria Greengrass. (Isn't it fortunate how Hogwarts children all seem to find their perfect love to be an elementary school companion?) - John is Married to Jaclyn (whom he did not meet in elementary school).

19. Tom Felton plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter film series. - John plays John in all of John's adventures, although he is looking for a stunt double.

20. The Malfoy family is extremely wealthy. - The Knapp family is very lower-middle class.

21. Draco, like all Malfoys, was sorted into Slytherin house. - John has never been sorted, but rather likes his house

22. Pansy Parkinson was Draco's date to the Yule Ball. - Joyce Libanau was John's date to the Christmas Dance

23. Bellatrix Lestrange is Draco's aunt. - Julie Jorgensen is John's aunt

24. While Draco's immediate family is entirely composed of Death Eaters, his cousins include some notorious good witches and wizards, including Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black, and Molly Weasley. - While John's immediate family is entirely composed of "I work in an office" people, his cousins include some notorious college football players

25. Draco owns and eagle owl. - John owned a quaker parrot, and now owns a freakin cute cat

26. Draco is an incessant weenie.

27. Draco suffers from the same living-in-my-daddys-shadow complex that Dubya did. Except he lives in everybody's shadow -- even Weesley's crappy tainted poor mudblood shadow!

28. Draco's relies on high fives from his other forced-bretheren-weenies as a form of validation.

29. If any frat at any school ever went face-to-face against Slytherin in anything... Slytherin would have to cast a spell and conjure up an endless box of tissues to comfort their endless river of wuss-tears.

30. Draco has the worst haircut in history. So he has to slick it back like a greaser.

31. Draco comes from a family with power and money, so there's no way he could ever be a true greaser. This saddens him so he listens to the Dashboard Confessionals.

32. This makes Draco the world's only magical emo weenie greaser.

33. Draco wants to carry a switchblade in his pocket, but he's would be intimidated by the huge shadow it would cast on his tiny frail ego.

34. Draco is really just Ocard spelled backwards.

35. Draco's deep dark secret is that he's a huge fan of Sunshine Bear. Hence the bleached platinum blonde locks.

Nap, I was ABOUT to say that your entry is the greatest thing I've ever read . . .

EXCEPT that it now includes the words "go BYU" on the wormboard.

I apologize for desecrating the wormboard with such profanity. It was intended to indicate my moral struggle every time I see my cousin playing for BYU. I want him to do well, but not the rest of the team. When I was at the vegas bbowl a couple of years ago watching BYU and UCLA, I wore my Utah hat, cheered for UCLA, almost got in 2 fights with BYU fans, and cheered loudest when Jan sacked the UCLA QB. It confused people around me (especially the people who wanted to fight but were BYU pansies so they didn't want to throw the first punch). I have removed the profanity from my post. Now YOU are the only one who has written "go @#U" on the board.

Having re-read this, I think the first two responses may be the two GREATEST posts of all time.

That says, who wants to go with me to see Deathly Hallows Part I?

I'll agree with the first part.

"Like all awesome people, John has a face"

I dunno what Deadly Hollows is. Is it a lead-lined Christmas wrapping paper tube?

New Harry Potter movie. And I'm about to explode with excitement.

Last time I saw a Harrry Potter movie in the theater I alomst fell asleep (goblet of fire or something). It was too long. Then everyone was upset that they left out too much of it. I don't get it.

I am sure I will see it at some point, but not before it is out on torrent or DVD. Thanks for the invite.

BTW, I still have a face

Ozzy, I think I found your athletic calling.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=13281781