Just thought I'd keep this here for future reference. This is a rant I wrote yesterday. I'll probably edit it later to apply to a more general populous.

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Countless people have asked me about The Master Cleanse. For those of you who don't know, The Master Cleanse is a special "diet" in which you "purge your body of toxins". This is done by primarily drinking a ton of water, mixed with some maple syrup, some lemon juice, and some cayenne. A special laxative tea is also added to the diet to prevent constipation. (Note: I don't know why constipation happens with a diet like this. Still need to study.) My initial assessment was that it’s a crash-fad diet that creates an insane caloric (and nutrient) deficit. I later met a guy who was on it and swore by it – having lost over 80lbs. Even so, he was still pretty over-weight. The cool part, though, was that he was motivated.

It's been about a year now and even today, I stand by my original assessment. That is, the weight loss exhibited by the Master Cleanse is primarily from the caloric deficit. If you take a guy who eats burgers, fries, and soda all the time, then tell him, “You can only consume spicy lemonade and laxative-tea for the next two weeks,” of COURSE he’s going to lose weight! He’s gone from consuming 3,000-5,000 calories per day to consuming less than 1,000. Straight from extreme caloric surplus to extreme caloric deficit! SCORE! Over time, his body officially becomes malnourished and goes into a slowed version of famine response – resulting in even MORE rapid weight loss – starting with the fats first!

Is he going to be healthy? No.
Is he going to be healthier? Maybe.

Part of me is frustrated at how many people ignorantly cling to this diet. Who can blame them? After all, look what it promises: Very little work, instant results. Plus Beyonce did it and lost a ton of weight!!! What could possibly sound more appealing (or stereotypically “American”)?

Another part of me is happy for them: Well, at least you’re doing SOMETHING and you’re feeling better about yourself. That’s got to count for a lot, right?

A third part of me wants to scream, “LOOK, YOU IDIOTS! IT’S JUST ANOTHER FAD DIET! IF YOU WANT TO BE LEAN AND HEALTHY, LISTEN TO THE SUBSET OF PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSISTENTLY LEAN AND HEALTHY! BEYONCE IS NOT A CREDIBLE NUTRITIONIST NOR IS SHE A MEDICAL AUTHORITY!!!”

And the last part of me just says, “Keep your trap shut, Adam. You already act like a know-it-all.”

Ugh.

I'm with you. Fad diets(and that is certainly what this is) tend to be just a lot of hype disguised as something healthy. My opinion is that if you're going to lose weight, do it right. Okay, this guy lost 80 pounds, but what the hell is going to happen to his body when he starts on a normal caloric intake again?

And for the record, I don't think you act like a know-it-all.

Speaking of which, the other day I think I invented a fad diet.

I was just craving veggies and brown rice. And working night shifts.

Here it is:

Eat nothing but raw fruits and vegetables, and strictly whole brown grains for three days. Drink nothing but water and generous amounts of coffee.

The food will come out whole.

I'm not sure there is any benefit to this diet, but I'm sure some 2 AM fitness guru could justify it.

I actually don't think this diet sounds half bad. Lacks protein. Maybe include beans? Bet you'd drop a ton of fat, weight, and waater.

ok... if you don't eat for days = you lose weight... but if you don't eat for few days, when you do eat your body keeps it, it doesn't know when it will get fed again cuz of the diet. Which stores it as fat, so yeah, that's what I got from my digging. Your suppose to eat a certain amount everyday and are suppose to go to the gym (means to not sit on your ass hee hee do something). People ask me that I went to gym today i am ok to eat 3 do-nuts or I don't need to go to the gym cuz I don't eat at all... it like your body is the plane, one wing is the food that you consume and there is how you keep yourself in shape, without equilibrium the system fails. And these are cool

I agree whole-heartedly that the cleanse thing is stupid as a way of losing weight (for obvious reasons). However, from my conversations with very strange people, there seems to be some utility in cleanse diets (some, not all) for doing what the name suggests: cleansing.

I have a friend with kidney problems that uses one of the cleanse diets every time her kidneys act up, and it works if she catches it early enough. Otherwise, the medical professionals load her up on steroids (which, ironically, is what initiated her kidney problems in the first place).

I met a guy who eats food based on the season (and does a hell of a lot of research to make sure he does it right). So, in the spring he eats a cleansing diet to rid himself of the toxins that have built up over the winter (being stored in fat, for the most part). He also explained to me that it is best to eat local food (not just because of shipping, etc). He was a strange, hippy-type, so it had something to do with being in harmony with your environment, but it actually made some sense. I'm not sure if it applies so well to people that have been transplanted. My take on it, which tends toward the evolutionary, is that your body is going to do different things with different foods based on your genetics (which have been shaped, to a degree, by the environment of your ancestors). It won't be drastically different from person to person, but it could be enough to actually pay attention to.

Those are my thoughts on the matter.

Cheerio.